A little bit of singing my heart out....for this moment

Looking at your picture from when we first met
You gave me a smile that I could never forget
And nothing I could do
Could protect me from you that night

You and I were everything to me
All the doors are closing, I'm trying to move ahead
And deep inside I wish it's me instead
My dreams are empty from the day,
The day you slipped away

So I just want you to know
That I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through
And then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe
That there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say
I would do it all again

That since I lost you
I lost myself
No I can't fake it
There's no one else....

Just want you to know...

-BSB-

My Perfect Stranger

CHAPTER 3

Sometimes it is going to rain. People said bring the umbrella just in case, but lets get hit by the rain so we know how it feels.

I don’t know what I am doing. I am thinking too much. God gave this brain but maybe I have been misusing it. Just a few weeks ago I have set a wall in within myself not to let it go again. I am not sure this time. I am not sure what I am feeling. This is the risk that I am taking, giving an opportunity to myself to be hurt again. He is staring at me and I don’t know and I wonder what he is thinking. I don’t know what I am thinking. No matter how many friends I have, no matter how million times I am trying to talk my heart out, how many times I am denying everything, the truth is what I am facing. The stupidest confession I have to make is that I don’t know what I am going through right now and this shouldn’t be complicated. I can’t tell.

“People used to tell me meeting a girl on the internet is the craziest thing to do because most of them are just screwed up and desperate,” he said. Great, now I am desperate! He must be kidding me. I didn’t look for him, he came to me. How come I am the desperate one?

“But you’re different,” he added. Ok, let’s drop that desperate case. “What makes me different than anyone else?” I asked staring straight at him.

“You make me feel happy. There is one thing that I wanted to do,”

“What?”

“Let’s sneak out tomorrow night,” he smiled and looking straight at me and giving me this uncomfortable feeling.

“Why and How?” I am not scared but confused.

“Tonight there’ll be a function at my house where my brother’s fiancée bringing her whole family for dinner. They’re getting married next year in February, 3 months to go. Before I forgot, I want you to be one of the flower girls,”

“What? Are you out of mind? Go and ask all the young girls in your family, I am a big girl and a stranger to your family and what were you thinking? Sneak out?”

“No, you don’t understand, I just want to be away. It is not my wedding and I don’t feel like being there and you are going to be one of the flower girl. That’s final. We’re sneaking out tonight; I need you to come to my house around 9. My room is facing the front and I get out from my window, go through the roof and we’re good to go,”

He is officially announced crazy and before I even get a chance to nag, he added;

“I don’t want you to say anything, just do this for me one time,”

I am officially out of my mind too. Control freak, I am not going to be one of the flower girl and that is final. I can’t believe that I am doing this, I am staying at my parents tonight and I am sneaking out using my dad’s car. Someone is going to pronounce me officially dead by morning. It is going to take me around 20 minutes. While on the road, I am not sure which turn to take, is it the first or the second? Damn it. Why the hell did I tell him I know the way since this is actually my first ever time driving to his house. Great. So Great, I have to call him. He didn’t pick up. Why on earth am I doing this? Me, driving to a man’s house. That is so against my morality. I sent him a text message;

Where are you?? I don’t know the road…Me!

Ok, I need to calm. If I am lost, I am going to cry and if I am stood up, I will not ever going to forgive him and definitely I am going to cry. Suddenly, my phone ring but the number is unrecognizable. “Hello?” I said.

“Hi is that Diana? This is Hadi, Omar’s brother,”

“Oh…Hi, where is he?” I am confused.

“He is taking his bath, he asked me to call you to give the direction, may I know where are you now?”

He sounds convincing and Omar better be dead once I reach there, why he is not ready? Has he forgotten about the ‘sneak out’ plan? He is the one who planned it and does this make me sounds desperate. He is driving me crazy.

“I am reaching Selayang now, I am passing the Petronas gas station just about now,” I said then he quickly reply,

“Ok, take the second left turn. Remember, the second one not the first,”

I am focusing so hard just to make sure I really can see the road, I am having this difficulty all along driving at night because of astigmatism.

“Ok, I can see the second turn,”

I think I am right but I guess I doesn’t sound convincing.

“Alright, stay calm if you can see a roundabout in front of you, you are absolutely right,” what is he, psychic?

“I don’t see a roundabout!” I screamed, I guess I am panicking.

“Relax, you will see it, once you’re there take 3 o’clock,” he sounds like he is chewing something.

“Ok, I am taking 3 o’clock, then what?” I feel a little bit confident now.

“Just drive straight ahead until you see the huge billboard and take the immediate left turn. It is a new road and on the road you will see this one tall building which is a condominium. Right in front of it, there is housing area and our house is facing it. Should be alright and you’ll be here in no time,” he said.

“Ok, bye,”

I hope I can remember what he said and my brain is repeating each word he said.

As I reached the road of his housing area, I saw some few kids running and teasing each other. One of the houses was so bright and there are few cars park in front of it so I guess that must be his house, it wasn’t so big but the design was like a small palace. I was amazed for awhile. Then I saw a guy smoking a cigarette standing besides the small swing where there sit a small young girl. He is tall just like Omar but I couldn’t see much of his face, he directed me to park my car by the road. I was dumbfounded for awhile wondering if I should get out of the car. I am not ready to meet these people and I don’t think I want to. But that is what I did, but I am not going inside to meet the whole family. I smile at the guy,

“So you’re Diana?” he asked,

“Yah, and you’re Hadi?” I asked then I turn to look at the small girl.

“Yup, nice to meet you and this is our little sister, Aleeya,” he said and gave me a warm smile, they look so different than the girl.

“Where is he?” I asked but before he managed to answer me I saw Omar walk out of the house and he didn’t come out from the window like he planned. So much of the word ‘Sneak out’.

“Hi, sorry I am late, let’s come inside and meet the family,”

I stared straight at him, what the hell is he trying to do.

“No, I believe we should get going now,” I said firmly.

He smile and paused for a few second and said,

“Ok, maybe next time. Let’s get going but just let me go inside and take my wallet,” before he turn I said, “Don’t try to do anything funny,” I warned.

I was so nervous but he didn’t do anything stupid.

We were quiet during the journey and we went to his favorite place. Once we have placed the order, I look straight at him and ask,

“What were you doing when I called you?”

He then gave me that innocent smile,

“To tell you the truth, after I came back from office my mom asked me to go to the shop and buy some stuff. Then I got so tired so I took a nap and I over slept. I just got up when you called. I know I need get ready so I asked Hadi to help me to call you back,” he explained.

I just kept quiet.

“I am sorry,” he said.

“You used the front door. I thought you should be going out through the window and you even asked me to come inside and meet “the family”. What are you trying to do?” I said looking straight at him. Seriously I cannot imagine whatever in his head.

“Nothing, when I was in the shower. My mom sent the maid to call me to go down and meet everybody. So that is what I did and yes I planned to sneak out but I had to change the plan. Of course then they all knew I am going out so they ask with whom…with you. When I met you outside I thought you might want to come in and meet everybody. But I can see you’re suddenly so serious,”

I am blank for a while he seems to have explanation on everything he did.

“It is not that I don’t like surprises, but I just want us to get things slower. I may not be the type of girl who every guy wants to bring home and show his mama. I am touched you thought of that, you’re the first. We just started to get to know each other,” I am trying to say something right.

“Ok, I understand. Again…you amazed me. You’re one of a kind. Every girl I met can’t wait for me to bring her to my mother,”

Then our food arrived. Seriously, are there girls like that? Or am I being naïve.

“So that little girl is your sister huh? She doesn’t have you or your brother’s look at all” I said. He smiles.

“She is our adopted sister. My mom took her from this family who couldn’t afford to take care of her. It’s a good thing because my parents don’t have a daughter, atleast there will be someone to take care of her and accompany her when we’re not around,” he explained. Well, I am surprised and again I have no idea how to response to this. “My mom wants to see you,” He simply said.

I didn’t say yes to the idea of seeing his mom. I used to want to meet my boyfriend’s family but I don’t think that is a good idea now. I know I am not supposed to be superstitious but I think its bad luck. I prefer things to go slowly and we can take our time on things so that we give our brain to think and our heart to analyze. I am at work and it seems I can start focusing on the job recently. Everything is according on plan and on time. My boss start to smile at me again, he never actually voice up his concern on my performance but I can definitely sees it from the pressure he put on me before this. It is time to concentrate on my diet too. Going out with Omar giving me a hard time on the subject, we went out to eat late dinner often enough. I never worry about that until this morning where I think my jeans is a little bit tight. Ouch! I am going to the gym this weekend. After lunch, my phone started to ring and it is him as I looked at the caller ID. So I waited for awhile before picking it up and said, “Hey you,” there is one big smile on my face as I have this thought that he must have been thinking about me. “Hi, how’s your day?” he asked.

“Great, although there’s nothing much actually,”

“Good, mine is quite boring. I almost went to sleep on my desk a few times. We’re still waiting for new project to be approved. Anyway, I need to discuss with you on something,”

“Oh, what is it? You want to discuss it over the phone?” My heart is pumping like crazy. What could this be.

“I want you to meet my mom,”

“What? I thought we have done with this discussion,”

“I am not pressuring you something but it is my mom,”

“What is it with your mom?” I just don’t understand him.

“You know how mom is like. She wants to sees you. No matter what excuses I gave, she still wants what she wants and she wants to see you,”

“Omar, you should be on my side! I have told you that I am not ready. We’re so new at this and I am still in the period of getting to know you,” he is pressuring me.

“Every girl would want this, why won’t you?”

“I am not every girl, I can’t do it and I don’t want to do it. Please understand,” I am so disappointed. There was a quite moment for awhile.

“Ok, ok, I am not going to pressure you on this. I’ll let her know that you have made your mind,”

“Tell her, I’ll see her when the time is right,”

I need to go for a shopping again, I don’t have anything particular to buy. Maybe I can just buy anything that is nice and of course I need to set a limit to myself or I’ll regret it later on. Wait I never actually regret with all the stuff I bought, it is destined to be mine maybe I will just feel a little bit guilty. I can’t stop thinking of him, is this mean I am missing him? Oh god I just wish that I will never have to go through this. Yes, I am thinking of him at every opportunity minutes that I have but that does not mean that I am crazy over him. Not yet. I think. Then I heard the sound of my SMS ringtones;

Let’s go and watch movie tomorrow, your stranger

I am quite surprise, never come to my mind that this is actually the first time he is asking me for a movie.

When? Where? What movie to watch? Your victim

There are not many interesting movie to watch this month so let him decide. By the way he is the one who is asking, I’ll choose next time.

Anything, you choose, :) Omar

Great.

Then, we just watch whatever movie that is available for 2! ^^ D

I am not sure what to wear and I am not sure why do I care so much. Maybe I should wear that long khakis skirt together with the T-shirt. Then I should let down my hair that will create that simple and descent looks. I have no idea why do I want to look descent since all the while a little bit sexy touch works on me. Well, I do not want to look like I put so much effort and just a little different maybe he’ll be impressed but believe it or not I practiced on what to wear for the date the night before. He’ll never know. Then my phone started to beep. Why is he calling me? I mean it is only 9.00pm. I mean he usually call me around midnight. Don’t tell me he is cancelling the date, it will ruin everything!

“Hey batman, what are you doing so early calling me up”

“Hi D, well…can’t I?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, my car broke down,”

“Oh my god! Where are you?”

“Don’t worry, the car is actually at our condo. Which is actually right across the street,”

“What happened?”

“I suspected the battery, but still we need to check it tomorrow night. Razlan is coming over to help out,”

“So is this mean that we’re cancelling our plan?”

“No…I want to go. But I couldn’t pick you up. Do you mind?”

“No, it’s ok. I can come and pick you up,”

“My girl,”

“Ok, see you tomorrow? Around 1pm?”

“See you.”

Of course I don’t mind. So the date is on.

As usual, I am checking myself again in the mirror. I think I look ok. As I drive to his house I was listening to a song called “Sometimes” by Britney Spears. It really suites the mood. Then I arrived the road to his house and I suppose I don’t need to drive in that I can just wait at the corner for him to come by. Then I saw standing right in front of his house looking at me with his hand on his waist. What on earth is he doing standing there? He should waste no time. The he starts waving his hand asking me to drive my car to the spot he’s standing. Damn, he is a very lazy guy. Why can’t he walk less than 20 steps? (Considering he has a very long leg). So I drove to some where near his neighbor’s house and he shook his head which means no. He pointed to the spot his standing which is actually right in front of his house. Oh my god! What the hell is he trying to do? But so I did. I think I know what he’s trying to do. From inside the car I look at him, he is standing outside obviously. Then I made the face and pointed him to get in the car now and don’t waste more time and no more games. He smile and asked we to wind down the window.

“My mom wants to see you,”

“See I can practically guess this is what you’re trying to do playing games with me. You know that I clearly said that I am not ready to meet your parents and by culture you should meet mine than only go to yours. No!”

“Come on D, give it a break. My mom is not easy to give in, if she wants something there is no turning back. I beg you please make an exception this time,”

“Well, lucky you! I am another woman in your life who is not easy to give in too. You know that I never done this before. I never went to see any guy’s parent before my entire life. I have said it and I am not saying it again. The answer is no,”

Then he made that disappointed face. At that particular point, I came to my soft spot in the heart where I think I am being to harsh on him. As I a watch he walks to the house

“Omar wait,”

I think he already expecting it.

“This will be the last time you do this to me, swear I’ll make you pay for it afterwards,”

My Perfect Stranger

CHAPTER 2

Recipe for finding a love, that would be having a great hair day and we had our bath. Make sense?

Oh god! What am I going to wear? Am I going to have these problems until the day I die, not knowing what to wear everyday, to any places and to each event. Sometimes it is best not being invited. But that would be mean. Anyway, I am going to see him tonight, YES! Looking at my wardrobe, hmm, I need a bigger one. Hey, no offence! Treat it like as if I am going through some therapy. There are too many stuff in here, I can’t even find anything suitable. Obviously having a bigger wardrobe will solve my problem in the entire world. After retrying and rechanging almost everything I had, I decided to wear something casual. But of course, I need to check with him, who knows if he is bringing me to some place romantic. Wait a minute, I am thinking too much again. There is a possibility anyway, but knowing him through email for few days, on the phone few days and a blind date, well, I should have known him well by now. That is what he said by the way. It is worth a phone call (Atleast I have a reason to do so). No! I shouldn’t call, it will look like I am too excited to go on this second date. So I text him;

Hi, how’s your day? Hope I am not interrupting. Just a quickie, are we going to somewhere fancy tonight?...lady D

Hmm, this text look like I want to go to somewhere fancy, I don’t have a dress for that, demm! I am going shopping tomorrow. I erased the text and rephrased my sentences;

Hi, how’s your day? Hope I am not interrupting. Just a quickie, we’re still on plan for tonight?...lady D

There you go, that sounds a bit relaxed. I need a coffee. And a shower. After about half an hour, I checked my phone, hoping he replied;

Hi Datin, I’m in this awful boring meeting, your SMS saved me from Zzz. I am really looking forward to see you tonight. What time shall I pick u up? Any suggestion for dinner? Ladies knows better …urs

Oh God! Oh God! What is “urs” suppose to mean?? Hmm relaxed. I need to sound relaxed and calmed. So that he won’t know I am already all above fairytales. Well, I am planning to wear casual tonight, I don’t want to look “too fast”, so;

Hi, that’s cute, why not we go somewhere near Bangsar? There have quite a good choices, see you at 8?...lady D

C U @ 8…urs

Well, I am half ready by 7pm. I am too excited. Too much. This is ridiculous. I am sitting on my bed, imagining his face. I know he is hot but suddenly I can’t remember how his nose look like! I know he is tall, but I can’t remember how he did his hair on the first date! What am I doing?

I am all ready 10 minutes before 8pm. Sitting in the room. He’s going to be late, I knew it. He’s a men and I am a women. Women knows everything. Wait a minute, this is not right. I am the one who suppose to be late. Eh, that is if we’re married and the fact that we’re totally not. So technically I am still following the rules of universe. My phone beeps;

Hi Datin, I am going to be a bit late, just woke up, probably reach ur place ard 9pm…urs

Great! I am all flushed, I sprayed my brand new perfume and I am looking my ultimate best right now and it will disappear by 9pm! What is he thinking? Sleep? What is up will all men, sleep during the day and also during the night? Forgive me lord, I just don’t get it. Now, what do I do for another hour;

Hi, are you ok? If not then maybe we can meet up some other time…Lady D

I want to see you tonight…I am hungry…urs

Surprisingly, a few of my friends drop by.

“Hey, you’re all dressed up, going somewhere?” that is Sophie, duh…obviously she knows I am going somewhere.

“You’re seeing someone already? How could you? You don’t even have a guts to tell us?”

“Jane! It is not like I am seeing someone, I am just going out with a friend. It all happen so fast and it is not like I need all of your approvals or something. I am planning to tell but it wasn’t tonight,”

“You made a ridiculous choice by having a relationship with Ezad on top of all the guys in the whole world, he’s short and ugly, he’s a pervert, I cannot understand it how did it last so long between you two. How can you stand that guy? Is that a good choice huh? well, that is a good point you need our approval bcos at the end of the day, you are the one who’s crying your eye ball out,” Ouch, Jane is defensive and mean sometime, but that girl loves me, she is one of my closest friend, in fact my bestest. Suddenly she reminds me how hurt I was, and she was the one I looked up to during those days. She hated Ezad so damn much.

“Ok now, leave her a space, so D, tell us who he is and where on earth you met this guy?”

That is Erin alright, she is the type very calm, mysterious who wants to know everything and no matter how hard you’re hiding it from here, she’ll get through you definitely. She is a psycho. A very good one. So it is better to give in to her. It is a pointless war. I look at my watch it is 8.23pm. It is still a long way to reach 9pm.

“I met him online, he sent me a resume,”

“WHAT??” said Jane, I can say the whole neighborhood could hear her.

“D, are you serious? Resume for what? I thought you’re doing finance, how come you’re hiring people?” Sophie is a bit concern, confuse most of the time but fascinate at the same time, she got her first boyfriend via MIRC.

That is so lame. Well, I didn’t do chatting, it just popped out.

“I wasn’t, he saw me on facebook. He dropped me an email. I replied and he sent me a resume to apply for a date. Something like that, and he got it,”

All of them looked dumbstruck.

“Well…..shut up cause I am not done. Ermm…I met him on a blind date by myself and he turn out to be a very good looking guy and he’s nice. He showed me his identity card and even his driving license. So, you guys don’t have to worry a bit,”

They were looking at each other. After awhile, Jane started to open her mouth;

“I am speechless, you do whatever you do but just leave me out of it,”

At this point I am not sure if it was me or Jane who just had a bad relationship. Jane is still single (she is not gay), she is the type who is very tough with the guys on the outside but inside she is actually a very shy girl. It is quite difficult for any of us to convince Jane to accept any guy in our life. I looked at my watch and it is 9.05pm. Where is he?

“Hi, where are you?”

“Hi D, I just left the house. My mom asked for my help to go and buy some groceries just now, I know I am late, are you mad?”

For god sake of course I am mad. Because you’re late I have to confront my friends;

“Oh really, its ok. I am just worried,” I am a hypocrite bitch.

“Great, usually girls would just scream and yell. I’ll drive as fast as I could to reach there,”

“Oh no, you better don’t. I need you to arrive safely,”

“Ok then, will call you once I reach,”

“Cool, bye,”

All of them pretending doing something, I know they were listening to my conversation.

“So, what bring you guys here?”

“We thought of asking you to go for dinner, of course we don’t know you’re going out with your new boyfriend,” Said Sophie while browsing through the magazine.

“He is not my new boyfriend Sophie, we just knew each other,”

There was a pause for awhile;

“Why not we go for a shopping tomorrow at Midvalley? What do you say?” I looked at everyone.

“I’ll drive…,” I added.

“Ok,” said Erin and the rest nodded.

Suddenly my phone beep;

I am already here, do you want me to come out or wait for you down here? …urs

I am coming down … D

Suddenly my nerves are all breaking and I felt nervous. My heart is beating so fast as I walk down from my apartment. Not again, I should be used to all this already.

I saw him and I smiled. I should scold him. But I guess not tonight, not now.

We decided to have dinner somewhere open space and cheap. That would be cool and cute. We managed to find a table and ordered our food. He looks so hunky, so cute at the same time with the cap that he’s wearing and a little bit of beard. He reminds me of Hugh Jackman, that is sexy alright. Oh great, dear lord save me. He has been staring at me for quite long now, so as me. He has beautiful brown eyes. This whole thing makes me feel itchy behind my ear. I need to start a conversation;

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah…shoot,” he laid back on his chair.

“Cute, tell me the truth, are you single?” I stared straight at his eyes and our eyes met. This is just to ensure he won’t lie, hopefully it works.

He smiled;

“I don’t know why, but you are one interesting girl. You amazed me. You know I am a stranger but you don’t seem to mind meeting me by yourself just after a few days knowing me online. But, you are insecure; you have been questioning me like you’re a detective and I am someone who is about to go to prison,” Don’t he dare change the topic with me.

“Well, maybe that is what it is, I am a detective, so answer the question please,”

He looks at me for a few second and he smile;

“No, I don’t have. I had once. She was my first love, we broke up a couple of months ago…my mom don’t like her anyway,” Ok, should I feel relieved?

“I am so sorry to hear that,” Actually I don’t feel sorry for him, I have done that been there too. But a girl needs to show her sympathy and concern. Some guy said they like sensitive girl. Again, I’m a hypocrite bitch! I know. I was in an acting class before, I must apply the knowledge somewhere don’t I?

“My turn now, can I ask you a question?”

Oh No! Don’t ask me that question. I am not ready to answer it, I would go crazy, chaotic and dramatic.

“Sure,”

I sip my drink. Trying to control my paranoia.

“Do you have a gene of a mix blood with the middle east?”

I almost choked. What kind of question is that??

“No, well…maybe, I don’t know. I guess if there is maybe on my dad’s site but way back then. Why ask?”

I can see he signed relieved;

“You have that kind of look, can see it from your eyes. My mom will like you, she’s so obsessed with the fact that our generations come from the middle east and hopes to continue it by her sons marrying someone who got the blood,”

Is he crazy?? Maybe his whole family is crazy. Who on earth bother about those things in this world anymore. What year are we living in? Did I take a ride on those timing machine. What am I talking about, he is talking about marriage! OMG I am a potential wife! Oh god! I wanted to scream.

“Oh…ermm, good to know. Anyway, if you don’t mind. Did you break up because your mom didn’t approve it?” I am a gossip girl, I need to know everything.

“No, it was so complicated. A lots of things happening, maybe we have been together too long. She had someone else,”

“Oo..hmm,” that sounds familiar. The food was awesome, I guess I was hungry. Then we started talking about school, friends and almost about everything. He is so good looking, he won’t fall for me. A guy like him can practically get any women he wants. Look at me! I am not hot, just simple and pretty (I am trying to make myself feel better here). I noticed some girls were once in awhile looking at us, some guys too. Wow! I feel so good, having a date like him driving those envious girls crazy and I look like trophy to those guys. I am embracing this moment. My spotlight.

“So, do you have a plan next Friday?” Suddenly he asked.

“I don’t know, I don’t plan so soon, what’s up?” while chewing my food. God! This is good.

“Maybe we should go out again, maybe just hang out a little bit often. I would like to get to know you better,”

He likes me. He must really like me. Then he added;

“I am sorry if I am moving too fast but…hmm,”

“I would like to get to know you better too, so that I won’t forget how you look like when I wake up tomorrow morning,” great, I am embarrassing myself. I am trying to get an excuse. Then I saw he smiled.

“You’re cute,”

Did you hear that? He said I am cute.

I am so lazy to wake up, I slept too well these few days. As I walked to the kitchen to make myself a coffee, I saw Sophie on the couch reading CLEO.

“What on earth are you doing here so damn early? What time are we supposed to go? Where is Maria?”

“She said she is visiting her parent, you know how Midvalley is. It will be damn pack if we go late, and I don’t want us to stuck in the jam then we’ll get back so late,” If I am a nice girl, Sophie is way better than me. She won’t stay out so late, but the only thing that will change her principle for a while is food. I can say not just her, Jane and Fiza are all the same, food freak.

“Ok, you better start calling Erin to get ready and go and wake Jane up. You know she sleeps like a dead person and will take ages to wake her up. I am going to take my bath and get ready,”

Sophie nodded and makes her way. All of my friends are staying nearby. Practically we are neighbors. I needed that, otherwise I would still be in bed suffering the heartbreaking. Suddenly, I remembered Ezad, the memory of him start to fresh back. I remember how I met him. I was in my first year in college. There was a tournament going on, it wasn’t the students. Some office held their game using our field. I was supposed to go and visit my parents and some of those guy’s motorbikes and cars are blocking mine. That is the day I got to know him. Everything happened so fast. I couldn’t believe it last for four years. I remember the day I said goodbye, I needed to let him go. We don’t belong to each other and it is not worth for me to fight for. I couldn’t trust him, my hearts keep breaking until I don’t have it anymore. On that day, I told him we needed to talk so he came and fetch me and we went out for lunch together, I was looking out the window the whole time he was driving. I looked at the sky and wishing that I have the courage to do this and stick with it and at the same time I hope I am doing the right thing;

“You know we can’t go on like this,” I started the conversation, he was quite all the way. Then he answered;

“We can’t if you’re parents hated me,”

“They have a good reason to do so, I am the only child. You hurt me Ezad! Not once, not twice but every opportunity you have. If a dad would ever let her daughter go, he will definitely wants her to be in a good hand, someone who would love her daughter more than he does, who would protect her from any harm and would never EVER do anything to hurt her. It is not their fault,”

“So it is mine?” He is defending himself.

“No, no it’s not. This is not meant to be. We are not meant to be. You chose her and it is clearly that we don’t have a future together,” I am trying to make it clear.

“Ok, so why do you want to see me for?” When he felt threaten he will definitely find a way to make me feel the same. Usually I will cry, I almost did, but not that day. I hold on to myself, I am crying in front of him. I need to show him that I am stronger and moving on.

“I appreciated all the time we have spent together, I wanted you to know I did love you and still do. But I can’t do this anymore,” He wasn’t looking at me, he was looking somewhere else pretending as if he wasn’t listening to what I am saying just to annoy me. I know he never listens, I don’t know if he did on that day but I need to let go. So I continue;

“I want us to move on, I know she loves you and I hope you’ll treat her better than me. I want us to be a different individual… I want to return all your stuff back and I want you to return mine,” Suddenly he looks straight at my eyes.

“For what??” He almost yelled.

“For me! I need to move on, I need to forget you. I need it for me!” I almost cried this time. Why does he always make it difficult for me.

“I don’t know where I keep all those stuff and I don’t want you to return mine. Just throw it away,”

“Ezad, c’mon. I know and you know that you still have mine. If you want to keep the rest, fine, but just give back my portrait photo,”

“I told you I don’t know where it is!”

“You know I love that picture, and we only have one copy, that will be the only thing that will remind me of you,” I was just saying it hopefully he’ll agree.

“I’ll give it back once I found it,” He sound a little bit pissed off but softens a bit because I was showing that I will still cry for him. He is the type who wants to have the authority towards a woman. It makes him feel like a man I guess.

Then he sent me home, before I got off the car, he pulled my hand and he kissed it then he kissed my forehead and his last words were;

“I am sorry for everything, you are one great lady and I hope somebody will notice that sooner than me,”

“Sorry is not the word Ezad, just so you know that God knows what he is doing and he loves me. Take care…goodbye,” I just closed the door and walked straight to the gate without looking back and my face filled with tears. It’s done.

Suddenly I am not in the mood to go out, but all my friends are all ready to go. So, we did. I bought myself a jacket and a pair of shoes. It cost me a fortune but I feel good. Like I said, it is a therapy. Then we go to one of the Restaurant for lunch. While eating, Sophie asked;

“What was the name of the guy you’re going out with again?”

“Omar,”

“Omar…hmm he sounds ermm nevermind,” Erin said,

“The name kind of old school, but the name is nothing like the guy. I’m telling you guys, he is a good looking guy,”

“I don’t trust your taste, look at Ezad. Short and ugly,” Jane is being mean but all of us giggled.

“Jane, stop it, you shouldn’t be saying things like that,” I am being nice again.

“What…you know I am right don’t you?” Jane giving me the look,

“Well, I don’t have a choice at the time. But it is past, but this time, Omar is a good looking guy. Omar is tall, but Jane, almost all guys compared to you is short. But Omar to me is tall because I can wear my three inches heels and still he is taller. He is fair, dark hair and macho looking that reminds me of Hugh Jackman,” Jane is one of the tallest girls I ever known, actually they are two of them, another one is Lily. I have not seen any guy who is taller than them in this country, just some as equal.

“I don’t believe you!” Jane cried. “If he is tall you should have given him to me instead. You know how difficult it is nowadays to find a tall guy unless he is white,” she added.

“Too bad he came to me, but I think he is not your type of guy Jane. He doesn’t have straight teeth, I am not talking about a rabbit ok and he smokes…a lot,” I told her.

“Ok, that’s fair,” I should have killed Jane long time ago.

“D, tell us again how did the first date went,” Erin is the mysterious plus a little bit daring kind of girl, I will always turn out to her for advises. It is ridiculous sometimes but she is the type who will support me no matter what. I will be there for her too. I told them every minute of the first date with my Mr.Stranger.

My Perfect Stranger

CHAPTER 1

The rains nowadays are acidic and some say it can bring fever if we stay out in the rain. The fact that, rain is actually a blessed that cleans out the dirt.

Sitting on the ground watching the stars in the middle of the night, always amazed me. How did god create such a beautiful thing very far to reach and can hardly be seen when you're living in the city and you do not know if what you are seeing are still exist. Then my brain start functioning and think, this is not a good sign, did I make the wrong turn by leaving him after 4 years? Did I waste my time? Hell no. I don't think so. But why do I feel "something" kind of weird feeling. I am not supposed to regret, things happened for a reason. He is a perfect described by the word "womanizer", or maybe that is too strong because he is not that hot. I guess heartbreaker would suit better.

Weekends are here, I am boring. So I called some girlfriends who happened to also adopt the word "single" again, to have a drink. We went to the usual spot near Wangsa Maju and talked all our heart out about it. Determined to be single for some period of time. We have decided, big girls don't cry, I am determined. Tomorrow is a brand new day.
It was so damn hard to make it on Monday. Damn, damn it. Why the hell is so difficult about losing a guy? Maybe the damage done is too severe? Painful and it hurts. No one can imagine how I went through the whole week. I need another outing session, so I dialed for 911. Me and my girls planned to go and watch Akademi Fantasia. What the hell! Once in a life, do the things other people addicted too. The best part is that we did a banner and we got to be in a magazine. Too bad I didn't get a chance to say in the magazine that how I wish he be thrown to another universe.
Again, I have to go through another sucking week. I wonder when is this going to be over, but it seems like it won't stop. So I went through my face book, during office hour. Well, I can't help it; my brain is not functioning when it should. Too bad, everything is so usual, viewing my schoolmates page looking and wonder do I really know them cause how different individual they are now. Then I went and check my email, why do I always get these spam emails and forwarded thing. But I saw this one email, a little bit different, the name look like a human and the title are welcoming. So after staring at it for awhile, I decided to open it.
What a surprise. This guy sent me photos of him. Talking to me as if he knows me ages ago. He looks good in the photos though, wearing blazer and our PM is in the photo too! So I guess he must be a Government employee or maybe he's a big shot (I must be lucky!). At first I thought he sent to the wrong person and that was what I replied to him. On the next morning, another long hours to go in the office. I wasn't expecting anything unusual, but there you go my mystery men replied again. What came to my mind is that he is about to apologize for sending the email to the wrong person yada yada yada...but instead, he said that he saw me in facebook but wasn't sure how to contact me (he can just send me a message, but yah, the possibilities for him to be ignored is high). I must be looking smoking hot in the photo on my facebook (aren't we all?), maybe he is quite a genius finding a way to get the attention. In the email, besides explaining this, guess what? He sent me a resume. It has the same format like how we applied for a job but the content is surprising and intriguing.

Name: Syed Omar bin Syed Alias (not a real name)
IC: MY19790123
D.O.B: 23 January 1979
Address: No. 789, Seksyen 3 A/B, Bandar Baru Selayang <-- he's staying with his family? Mom and dad? Wife??
House phone: None (everyone use hp) <--- So this proves that he is staying with someone.
Handphone: 015 – 1234567

His Father's number - 011 – 9876543
His Mom's - 011 - 9876666
His brother's - 015 - 7676767
His Sister's - 011 - 9876565 <---Ok, this is too much information!
Hobbies: ....
Fav color: ...
Fav food: ...
Fav drink: ...

And the list goes on to every detail. At the end of the email, he said,” Now, probably you know me better than anyone else". I was stunned for awhile, and then I wonder...how this could be, which planet this guy comes from. I replied to him,

Dear Dato' (I purposely give this nickname to him),

How can I know you better than anyone else when I don't even know you. I never met you in my entire life or maybe I saw you this morning but I don't know you then maybe somebody else said hi to you while I don't even bother to look at you. So it makes me the only one in your world who doesn’t know you.
Your perfect stranger,
Diana

A few hours later, he sent me a very short email;

Call me or text me. I want you to know me.

Ok, this is bloody crazy! Dear god, help me, I think I have gone through enough. At the end of the day, I am going back home, tired, exhausted and I needed to be alone...to cry (I still have some broken pieces of my heart that needed to be let go). I am staying with Maria, I always glad to have her as my housemate. It is as if we really understand each other, we both has been cheated and hurt. The thing is with her, she never gives up and she’s always on a date and I never really approve her dates cos those men she dated are a definite womanizer. I need her to be out right now so I can spend sometime alone tonight, and yes, she texted me;

Babe, I'll be late and don't wait, xoxo Maria

I guess god do listened to my prayers. I took a long bath, then I make myself a hot coffee and sit infront of the TV. Damn, why do they always like to repeat all the show which almost all I knew the ending? But I needed the TV to be on, so I tuned in to Oprah. Maybe I should check on my email, to check if I have a meeting tomorrow (I wish so that I have a reason to sleep early tonight). As I opened my notebook, I wish Maria is home. I felt like I am an alien or something like Will Smith in the movie I am Legend. I saw Dato's email, maybe I forgot to delete it. I read the whole email again, and the door is open, Maria's back. Thank god. “Babe, wat’s up?” I was looking at the email my Mr. Stranger sent me. “I am counting the days that I will be so over him, hmm, so how was you date?”, she gave me a half smile and said,” he’s ok, we started talking and when for a drink, he drove WAJA”, I can say, from the way I knew Maria. One of the ways he looks at a man is at his car, which I find pretty much annoying but that’s her. “Did you asked him why he didn’t come and see you for so long until now?”, she stood quite for awhile, “I did, he said he was busy, but he do call once in a while and you know before this he did said that he really really want to see me and he promised to find a time for us”. I need to cut this topic before we start to argue on how I am so naïve. “You know what, I think I need to tell you something that you are way more expert than anyone I knew”, Maria is the type of girl who dares to know to go out with almost every men she knew online provided they have revealed what car they are driving, that is where she all these men. “What?” while reading a text message on her handphone. “There this guy who saw me on facebook started to email me, you want to see how he look like? He looks kind of old but hot, he have my uncle’s look!” She stared at me for awhile,” what do you know, welcome to my world babe! Let me the big shot…” she looks kind of dumbstruck for awhile and said “you lucky bitch”. Both of us started to laugh. She told me to text Mr. Stranger, she said sometimes we need to give it a try because sometimes Mr. Right won’t come around if we sit still. To my surprise, without thinking further, I texted him.

Hi Dato’, here’s my number…lady D

10 minutes later, he called. My heart was pumping as if I am having a heart attack but I picked up anyway. We started talking and he told me he’s in one of the club paying snooker. I asked him what was he doing taking picture with the Prime Minister and he told me that he is a government employee but he’s not one of the big shot. Ok. Maria crazily insisted me to ask him how did he go to work, and for god sake I did. He took a motorcycle. “You wore a blazer going to work? And you took a motorcycle? I can’t imagine that, I should see you on the road!” At this point he is already on his way back home and he said he’s going to call me back in a few minutes for him to reverse his car. Ok. Wait a minute. He is reversing his car?? Did I miss anything? He said he’s driving a motorcycle. If he’s lying he’s done. Later, he called me back, and I asked him about reversing his car thing and he said “why do you girls think too much and say so much and how do you girls do it in parallel”, what is he talking about?? “C’mon tell me, you said you want me to know you but if you’re lying there is no way for me to get there” and he said “I am not lying, I have a bike and I have a car. There are days that I am using my bike and when the day I need to bring along my blazer or if it’s raining, I’ll use my car”, “why didn’t you say this earlier” and he said he’s catching his breath. Man. I hate this part.
He suggested for us to meet. Suddenly it was my turn to be in the dumbstruck mode. What am I suppose to think. I don’t know this guy; after all you know he could be a criminal who just escaped from prison. As expected, Maria is almost crazy pushing me to go and see him. I told him I will think about it. The next day, after work, I called him and tell him if he wants to see him its better be tonight at 8.30pm or never. I must be crazy. He was pretty much surprise and didn’t expect it to be so soon, he was suppose to have some sort of office dinner or something like that and tried to put on a negotiation with me. Sorry it’s tonight or never (I’m in a panic zone; I can’t hold on to this any longer. To my mind, this could be one night stand, so let’s get it over with). He said, “If that is what Datin said means I don’t have a choice”. Yes!
I am getting ready; my heart is beating like its almost got out of me and my brain stood still. I getting dressed up, trying to look nice. What am I doing? The last time I did this is when I’m going out with Ezad (my 4 years boyfriend who is right now ex-bf). Maria has been watching me since I got out of the bathroom and she said “You’re freaking up, are you going to be ok? Do you want me to come along?” That is my line alright; I said that almost every night she went for a date with strangers. “I want to, but I need to break the ice. I never have done this before, for real. After tonight, everything will be back to normal”, she made the face “You mean, lying on the bed crying for that jerk again, please!” what else should I say, “Yes, time will heal it like how it’s suppose to be”.
I drove my car and wait infront of the National Mosque (what a great place to meet. He actually went for the dinner just to show his face off to his boss and plan for a sweet escape and meet me here, great). I am trying to be calm, what if he don’t look as good as how he look in the picture? What if everything is just a charade? My mind was going on like this on and on until I saw this guy on a bike. Then we looked at each other (I was in the car of course). Then, he knocked at my window, I was stunned but I managed to put a smile. Never on earth I will go on that bike, so I put down my window and said “Park your bike, I’ll drive”. So he parked and get inside the car, well it was quite dark I couldn’t see him clearly. Inside the car, he was telling me on how he escaped and trying to find a way to look at me. Of course I am looking straight cos I’m driving. Why on earth he does that? It makes me feel uncomfortable. I drove to the nearest restaurant. We were then walking towards the restaurant, I was wearing my highest heel and to my surprise he is damn tall not like Ezad who were defeated by any heel higher than 2 inches. He got a point for that. We found a place in the restaurant, I got to see him clearly now. Damn it. He is so damn hot. I have to be calm, pretending that I am not thinking of that. We started talking, a lot. At a point, both of us were speechless. He look at me, I look at him too. Never on earth a man look at me like that before in my entire life. Cut the crap, I have to get back to reality. No way will a good looking man like him ever fall for a girl like me. Then I say, “Can we go now?” he smiled and said “It’s getting late huh, Cinderella needs to home…ok, let’s go”. So I dropped him back at the Mosque where he parked his bike and drove off without looking back. Everything will be back to normal tomorrow – it was nice meeting you, my last word to him and he just smiled.
Soon after I opened the door I saw Maria, on the couch watching TV while eating ice cream. She must be stood up for a date again. She looked at me, “So? How was it? Tell me everything”. I smiled, then I screamed, “He’s a dropped dead gorgeous! He has beautiful brown eyes; we were talking for 2 hours non stop! And the way he look at me…hmm I don’t know how to put it into words but it makes me feel good” Maria put down her spoon and smile, “There you go, I am damn right telling you to take the chance” I put down my handbag and look at her, “Maria, this could never work, he was interested to know me by looking at my facebook. The stories I created about myself which is just word and beautiful pictures which was taken in a good angle. Look at me; I put myself in the category short, fat and ugly. This all is just a fake” Maria scoot near me “Babe, you’re not ugly. If he didn’t take this chance, it is his loss”. I went straight up to bed, this drama is over. Beep, beep.
I have a message, from him;
You know me know now better than anyone else, can we do this again?
OH MY GOD! I am screaming like hell! We’re going for a second date.
Thanks for meeting me, thanks for the dinner. Sure we can your arrangement this time.
It was 12.30 am; I went to see Maria in her room. She was getting ready. “Where are going, Sham suddenly changed his plan again?” she puts on her favorite lipstick, “Nope, I’m not going out with Sham, he can go to hell. I’m going out with Hafiz to watch a live band in Hard Rock Cafe, you don’t know him. I knew him sometime ago, I never tell you about”. Yah right, she always tells me this. “What time is he coming? What is he driving?” I am not offering to go with her tonight; I am tired “He’s driving a porche”. What the heck! My jaw dropped, I should have begged to follow her. After she left, I slept. I had a good night sleep. Sweet Dream.